My Future - God What A Scary Thought

i was reading through everyone's blogs and something chris said in his first post made me want to talk about my future. chris mentioned playing off others' creativity, and that is exactly what i do. i always thought i was creative. i went into theatre for that reason. i tried to be a set designer... and failed. i tried to be a makeup artist... and failed. i tried to be a director... and, of course, failed. finally i realized that i am creative, but only when given a head start.
that was about the time that eric started getting serious about his writing, and i started reading it and ripping it apart. sometimes he would come to me with ideas, but he just didn't know where to go with them. now, i could never have come up with those ideas myself, but i knew exactly where they could go given full potential. there were quite a few stories where my ideas were not exactly used, but gave birth to a bevy of other, better ideas. i decided to be a book editor.
i could be good. i realize that now. i have a lot to learn and am looking forward to it, but i am already good. i still want chris to start that publishing company, but now i am realistic about my options. even if we start a company, i have to pay my dues at another company as a proofer or a copyright filer. i understand and accept. i just want to edit books.
this is getting a little long, but i have one thing i want to get across if nothing else does. i have never, ever had a passion for anything. even falling in love with eric was calm and subtle. but right now, writing this post, my chest is feathery inside, i am sitting up straight, and i'm sure that if a mirror was in front of me, i would see stars in my eyes. i want to edit books. so please, my writer friends, send me your manuscripts. send me hard copies to edit. i would love to. know that i will be harsh. i may even tell you that your story is crap, but i will be constructive. help me realize the only passion i have ever had.